I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed-in on Google Earth really fast.
ANONYMOUS
A teenager is someone who is well prepared for a zombie attack but not ready for tomorrow's math test.
ANONYMOUS
The man who stops advertising to save money is the man who stops the clock to save time.
ANONYMOUS
Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety, a love for alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid people. But not lemons.
ANONYMOUS
I'm a nervous flyer, and it doesn't make it any easier when I get to the airport and see the sign TERMINAL.
ANONYMOUS
Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
ANONYMOUS
Everyone is a reader.... Some just haven't found their book yet.
ANONYMOUS
Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger ... but I love you now.
ANONYMOUS
Sometimes when you think the storm is coming to rain on your parade, it's actually there to water your garden.
ANONYMOUS
Have patience. Everything is difficult before it is easy.
ANONYMOUS
Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
ANONYMOUS
During sex it's perfectly fine to say "YEAH", "YES", and "OH YES", but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming "YEP"?
ANONYMOUS
Counting other people's sins does not make you a saint.
ANONYMOUS
All you need is love. And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.
ANONYMOUS
If hindsight of some women was as good as their foresight, they wouldn't be wearing slacks.
ANONYMOUS
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
ANONYMOUS
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
ANONYMOUS
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
ANONYMOUS
Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
ANONYMOUS
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
ANONYMOUS